Nota ke syurga.

Thursday, July 9, 2009 at 3:25pm
Bismillahirahmanirrahim. Dengan nama Allah SWT yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. Tuhan segala kejadian di langit dan di bumi. Tuhan yang menentukan qada' dan qadar. Hanya Dialah yang berhak sepenuhnya ke atas segala milikNya.This is what he wrote on his Friendster:>deep in my heart........i was looking back to my childhood memory, sumtimes i wish i can dream of it, just for 1 night only...so i can see him smiling, talk to him with my fingers, silent laughing with him, n have fun wit him...last nite, i miss him so much..everytime i close my eyes, i see him..n dat was great, but its hurts me sumtimes...what else can i do?my pray, thats ol i can give, n i hope dat will always be der with u bro...cant stop thnking of u....miss u bro..deeply miss u so much....amin...rest in peace....>Kid

I understand how much he loved and missed his brother, Arwah Zarul Shahrin is. I know how bad he felt when he stared at his brother's pain. I wasn't that close with Abg Zarul but with Kid, we shared a lot and we were so close. I miss every outrageous things we did. I can remember every single things we've done. He was the only relative that I shared my dream with to see Chelsea vs Malaysia at Stadium Melawati.He was the only cousin who has the same music with me.Whenever he wanted to do silly things, he would pick me to be with.Whenever he needed his relative to share his top secrets, he would choose me.Whenever he planned to cheat our another cousins, he would claim my name in.Whenever he wished to do some bad boy-gone-good things, he would invite me.I just unable to erase your laughter, it's so clear here. I cannot delete how we ran together at the stadium and you said "Ini baru Chelsea, kalau Liverpool ntah macam mana lah kita berlari." I remember when you mad at me because saya melengah-lengahkan masa di cc while you were eager ajak saya visit kubur arwah Nenek & Bapak. It's so cute to recall your naughty words said "Kakak, jom p clubbing malam ni?" I love to see the way you counted your A to Z list of your exs. I remember how I taught you how to lukis all those kimia stuffs but you didn't want to listen till ur Abah mad at you. I remember I obliged you and Shidee to drive Kak Ida's car to send me to UiTM becos Im dying to come over my juniors' convo. I remember u screamed at Alin and I for singing Cobalah untuk Setia sekuat-kuat alam di tengah malam. I remember how I neglected so bad to walk by your side at the airport because you brought your guitar along melintang-lintang at your back & almost hit my kepala. I remember the way you grasped the amplang that I gave to you and it looks so cool for my housy till she has an idea to make you as her anak ikan. I remember when we were kids, we asked you to wear a bikini and you did it. I remember when it comes to Hari Raya, we and the rest crafted a huge Kad Raya then proudly presented it to our families. I remember because of your Anakku Sazali attitude, we pulaukan you and you cried badly, mengamuk and lari pegi hutan siap sorokkan selipar. Aah... they are so clear here. I'm sorry I often label you as Pilak or else call you Bajau (and you replied me "Apa bah nie main bangsa, Iban! Nie satu dogok! (Pheng)). At the last time we met, I hope you would forgive me for saying that silly word and I know you won't take it into account(hopefully). You know how much we love you and I know for now, you know how much we miss you.How could I forget him for all these? I know my tears ain't a guarantee that he would come back. For the time being, I'm learning how to accept the fate that you're gone. As you lying in my memories, all I think is the sweetest ones because every single thing we did, most of them are sweets. Strangers will see you as a bad boy, but for us your stubborn is the way you are and somehow it makes us pleased. You know what, Mak Ngah has sms me and saying "Istimewanya Kid, dia tak pernah sakitkan hati Mak Ngah." Me too.The only that I can do is by saying Allah SWT lebih menyayangmu for many-many times and sedekahkan Al- Fatihah. For 20 years, 6 months and 10 days of your life, I love you. Zulfaqar @ Kid in memory.

Al Fatihah.Love,Kakak